Snakelips and Hamster Belly

When I was a kid, I think my mom got bored of hearing us ask, "What's for dinner?" She started coming up with new and exciting meal options. One night "snakelips" appeared on the menu...and it stuck.

Snakelips became the go-to name for Kraft Mac & Cheese. Hamster belly just started from a Mad-Lib I remember my brother and I doing in the car with my mom while we were waiting outside of the Walgreen's in Hanover Park. We never really applied that to an actual food, however, now that I'm giving it some thought I think the best fit would be chicken Kiev. Yum.

Does anyone else out there have better names for meals? I can't wait to try out some new ones the next time I cook...if ever. :)

Inaugural installment of "WWYD?" (What Would You Do)

I found this on PostSecret:

I wondered the same thing. I could only guess because I haven't had my abode completely burn down yet. That kitchen incident, I only left after I was sure I put the candle-induced fire out (thereby coating the entire room in white) and my next-door neighbor and good friend Jody grabbed me by the arm and forcibly removed me.

Don't dwell on it. Just ask yourself. What's the first few things you think of that you'd grab if you could (or have had to)? All I could come up with (after grabbing my brother, obviously...no one's gonna make me another one of those) was my computer and the box of photos in the basement. If you're thinking the computer because of the ginormous hard drive full of music or the scads of video games installed on it (what a hassle to lose that!), it's actually the largest repository of photos I have besides the box in the basement.

I would mourn the loss of handmade gifts and memories associated with them, but, aside from my strength of olfactory-triggered memory, my visual memory is right up there and I don't get the same response from a heart-shaped dish my grandmother kept on her dresser as I would of the photo of her sitting on Santa's lap at the family's Christmas Eve party so long ago. The picture of my momma and I sharing a VERY stinky bedroom at a B&B in Salem, Massachusetts one Halloween elicits more emotion than the VERY beautiful, Momma-created ceramic cup. Okay, so I'd grab that too (and the raven necklace). But we're talking only seconds of time and whatever you can hold in your hands (unless you happen to have a backpack in every room...which I seem to).

This question caught me, though, at a time where I just want to get rid of so much "stuff." Things in the basement that are just sitting there...old memories, no-longer-important items, floppy disks and Tae-Bo VHS tapes for Pete's sake. I feel so much better when I purge belongings...actually, now I think I might be on to something. Maybe I should make sure the insurance is up-to-date...

Just a booger on the fingernail of the Universe

That's us. Actually we're much smaller.

I was following along with my friend Wood's Astronomy class and learned some really cool stuff. Everywhere you look on the internet, it is mentioned how difficult it is to grasp the age of the Universe and Earth. Big numbers don't explain the concept very clearly. So this example (also, found everywhere on the internet) was kind of stunning.

If you compressed the timeline of the Universe into a calendar year, meaning the Big Bang is January 1st and present day is midnight, December 31st, here's what it would work out to...

• January 1st - The Big Bang (the Universe begins to form)
• February - Our Milky Way Galaxy forms
• August - Sun and planets form
• September - Oldest known life (single-celled organisms) forms
• November - we see the beginning of multi-cellular organisms
• December 15 - Cambrian Explosion (burst of new life forms)
• December 17 - Emergence of first vertebrates
• December 18 - Early land plants
• December 20 - First four-limbed animals
• December 21 - Variety of insects begin to flourish
• December 24 - First dinosaurs appear
• December 25 - First mammalian animals appear
• December 27 - First birds appear
• December 29 - Dinosaurs wiped out by cataclysmic event
• On December 31st, in the morning, is when any speck of human ancestry appears on Earth
• 12/31 - 10:15a - Apes appear
• 12/31 - 9:24p - First humans to walk upright
• 12/31 - 10:48p - Homo erectus appears (shut up, Beavis)
• 12/31 - 11:54p - Anatomically modern humans appear (that's SIX minutes before midnight, brothers and sisters)
• 12/31 - 11:59:45p - Invention of writing
• 12/31 - 11:59:50p - Pyramids built in Egypt
• 12/31 - 11:59:59p - (1 second before midnight) Voyage of Christopher Columbus

It was only about 12,500 years ago that the very spot where I sit today (killing time during the slow part of the academic year) was only just beginning to thaw out from the last Ice Age.

The thought terrifies and amazes me all at the same time. We humans have done so much, it seems, in such a short time. My parents were watching black and white television and standing, umbilically connected to the rotary phone on the wall. My grandparents were driving early cars, and listening to radio programs at night. And yet, a look at geologic time shows just how small we we really are in the big picture.

I Will Never Forget

Taking some time today to contemplate the meaning of Memorial Day, I find myself feeling genuine heartache at the ultimate sacrifices of our men and women, young and old, at home and across the oceans in times of strife. Some made a choice, some were drafted. Most put aside their way of life and did their best.

Parents lost children, children lost parents, loved ones dying on foreign lands in order to free people of other nations and defend our own.

I am small, I am selfish and I am unworthy. But most intensely, I am grateful to all that I live in a country of peace and prosperity where there are STILL people who are willing to sacrifice their lives in service of our nation.

Thank you, dear Americans, and to my loved ones in particular, for making that profound choice. I will always be in awe of your courage to follow through.

Sigmund Kopec, KIA, WWII

Chester Kujawa

Daniel Kujawa

Donald Barberini

Richard Kujawa

James Pauling

John Kawa

J. Scott Holley

Erin Howle

Benjamin Bridges

Jacob Veness

Jeffrey Juhnke

What Fresh Hell Is This?

What the heck is going on here? Have Facebook and my smarmy iPhone killed my creativity?? The best I can come up with is an anecdote that isn't even mine. After riding our mountain bikes in the Lowes Creek County Park this past Tuesday, my brother said to our friend E, "Oh man! I could go for a chili cheese dog from DQ right about now. Nothing like a bunned pork stick!"

To which I cracked up and couldn't stop laughing about it. So I kept making him say it. Even today. I asked him about his creative process and he says, "I don't know. Shit just pops into my head."

So how come no shit has popped into my head? Is it because I use my best stuff on my text messages, emails, status updates, posts and Tourette's and don't save any for my blog? Is that all there is to my wit? Just blurbs and twitches? Gech. Maybe I need to go make some stories.

Artificial Album #4

Yes, Virginia, you CAN change out your own air filter

I decided to post this little DIY after I went to get the oil changed out of my cage (motorcyclist speak for "car") last week. I only wanted an oil change, and after getting the "You need to replace/change this because it'll cost you an assload down the road" speech for about 5 or 6 things, I smiled and nodded and told the guy to just change the durn oil. I was somewhat insulted that he thought I was fool enough to need someone else to change out my air filter. I realize not everybody has access to a Busted Knuckle Garage (read: Daddy's house and his Shop Class Jeenus brain), but you ladies and less-than-mechanically inclined gentlemen (I've known a couple) should be able to at least change out your own air filter without any tools and save enough scoots from a lube-n-wash for an overpriced double-tall mocha latte, mit foam.

I give you, Kuj's DIY air filter change:

The air filter does just what it says. Your car's engine draws in air in order to create combustion. Air mixes with fuel in the cylinders, the pistons compress the mixture, the spark plug creates the explosion, the explosion pushes the piston back down and the process is repeated in a not very difficult to understand cycle. Check this out if you want to know how an engine works.

Since the engine needs relatively clean air to function properly, the air filter prevents sand, dust, dirt, leaves, etc. from entering the cylinders. As a result, the air filter can get pretty skanky...it'll get skankier faster if you live in a dusty or sandy environment or drive off road a lot.

The air filter typically sits in an easy-to-find spot to one side or the other of your engine. The filter is located inside a largish, plastic box with a big hose attached to it. Here's the air filter box in my Saturn ION (standing in front of the car, on the left side of the engine compartment).

Here's the air filter box in Anya's LHS-mobuick (left side of the engine compartment).

And here is the air filter box in Brother's Nissan pick-em-up truck (right side of the engine).

The air filter box is kept closed by two or three clips you can pop off with your fingers. The opposite side of the box is almost always comprised of a few tabs you'll need to hook together before you clip the box closed again.

Once you've unhooked the clips, you can lift the top of the air filter box and you'll see the air filter. You can pull the filter right out. It just sits on top of the bottom half of the air filter box.

Once you've removed the filter, look at the underside (the fins sticking out, not the flat side). This is where all the trapped dirt and gunk is. If it looks totally filthy or is greasy, it's time for a new one. Put it back in and head over to your local auto parts dealer and ask them for an air filter for your year/make/model car (ex., mine's a 2003 Saturn ION3). They typically will just give you a standard air filter unless you specify you want a certain name brand or high-performance air filter (which you likely don't need).

In my case, here's what my air filter looks like.

When I turn it on its side and bend it back slightly you can see there's just a little surface dirt on the very edges of the fins, and it's dry, so I'll shake it out to get the bigger stuff out if there is any, and if you have an air hose you can blow some of the dirt off.

Then drop the air filter on top of the bottom half of the air filter box, fins down, flat side up, hook the tabs on the one side of the air filter box, and push the clips back on. All set!

There's no reason why everyone on the planet shouldn't be able to do this. It leaves out all that intimidating nut-and-bolt-reefing I'm so good at....breaking off. And buy me a beer next time you see me with that labor money you saved.