Thursday, August 14, 2008

Suck it, Thoreau!

I've been hard pressed to come up with a viable post this past week or so...I have new purchases to share and still need to blog about the big club party, but I can't sit down and type much more than this at the moment.

Mainly because I am struggling to read every last word of Walden. I am fighting tooth and nail against using the book during the early morning hours on weekends for target practice on those GOD-BLESSED NOISY ASS CROWS. Because Walden? Totally sucks. Please, SOMEBODY tell me why this is a classic? Is there a deeper meaning in the discussion of growing beans? Should I do complex math in order to see the "Aha" moment in the ridiculous lists of expenditures and profits? I can't even find a meaningful line to add as my signature in the sportbike club forum so I look all pretentious and smarty. BTW, the current signature is one of my own quoting, "In the end, there can be only one. Two usually requires some stretching."

I'm becoming more and more worried that my comprehension is shot, because I thought a "classic" book was loosely defined as a beloved story passed down from generation to generation. What's with this book? Is it me? Is there some adult version of a reading comp test? Fahrenheit 451? That was a great book. I deem it a classic.

Walden has been in the "library" next to the "throne" for the past week, and when I realized we were down to our last roll of poo tickets, I glanced in the direction of the book and yes, just briefly...

"Will it hurt less if I wad it or fold it?"


  1. Did I already read that book? If I did, I don't remember it. Sounds way to f-ing smart for me! You should pick up some Calvin and Hobbes. That's good throne reading!

  2. I second the Calvin and Hobbes. Plus, the pages are made of a soft, flexible material that flushes well.


    Thank you.

  4. Oh no, You probably died of a colon blockage while reading Thoreau. Blast you, Thoreau!!

  5. Thoreau is a dipshit..plain and simple

  6. Thoreau: "Look how much I've saved growing my own beans!"

    Emerson: "Dude, yer a dipshit."