She Was Sesquipedalian...A Lot

About a month ago, a bunch of us riders made the 20 minute trip to Menomonie to listen to Turd's band. A carload or two of us met up at a fellow rider's house for pre-gig snacks and conversation. Brother, Anya and I rode up with E and his girlfriend, whom I believe E called "Killer" at one point. Killer is a sweet, very pretty young lady who cracks me up at how unfiltered she is. She isn't rude, she just doesn't hold much back. I can appreciate that; it's a refreshing change from that whole, "What are you thinking?" silliness. Also? It means I'm not a lone female wolf in the pack full of less secure women. Who cares what they're thinking anyway??

So we're sitting in the kitchen, stuffing our faces with some good eats and seemingly out of the blue, Killer called me out about my big vocabulary.

Killer: "You like to use big words."
Me: "I...what? Sorry." I'm all embarrassed.

She just pointed that fact out where everyone else around me, never, ever seemed to take the same notice quite so to-the-point. So, I dwelled on it for a number of days afterward. Why do I use big words? In the spirit of the impending St. Patrick's Day, my list o'reasons:

• My high school vocabulary books were the only homework I enjoyed doing. Yes, I waited until 10 minutes before English class each time to do the vocab homework, but it was still my favorite. Even now if I happen to see a Reader's Digest, I'll flip to that word quiz (I'm sitting in a bar at Big Powderhorn updating this...the name is escaping me) and bomb through it.
• I absolutely, positively CANNOT do math. That's one of the reasons I take my brother out for dinner so often...I make him figure the tip. I enjoy his company, of course, and it's with great ease that makes me laugh till steak comes out my nose.
• Common, everyday speech becomes so boring, rarely used words make conversation more colorful.
• The big words just stick in my head, like all the useless information I file away for later use.
• Sometimes, they're just funny in the right circumstances. Especially when you're trying to describe a bodily function.
  

So, I'm coming out of the big word closet, here and now. I love the way they flow out of my head and across my oft-stumbling tongue. I LOVE USING THE BIG WORDS! Everybody knows if you find you enjoy something, you tend to excel at it with seemingly little effort. You may think I use big words to impress you or maybe it makes you think I'm a snob, but that's not the case. If it were, I probably wouldn't be able to back the usage up with a proper definition. And nothing's funnier than someone using the wrong big words. I just enjoy using them bigguns. When you decide to call me out, I'll do my best to not take umbrage at your servile proclivity, you varlet.