Monday, March 17, 2008

Karma, and its Ass-Handing

How come I buy a motorcycle and the EC gets one of the longest, snowiest winters EVAH? I lie not...I sat at work today, staring out the window at THAT coming down and suddenly a thought popped into my head. "Do it. Flip out. Run screaming outside, into THAT and shriek, countenance turned to the sky, 'WHAT THE FUCK?'" But, there's just me and the one other employee. All hat, no cattle. I need an audience.

My mom is in town visiting her two horrible children (allegedly). Thank goodness, because if I had to come home to an empty house and cook my own food in this foul mood, I would've curled up on the floor in the fetal position eating dry ramen...WITHOUT the chicken flavor packet. Thanks Momma for the home-cooked meal. It's like being 7 again. I miss 7.

So I watched "Wild Hogs" tonight and it made me feel better. Yeah, it's not the best motorcycle movie around, but it's a darn sight better than that glorious piece de crap Torque or Biker Boyz. Turds. "You know what they call bikers in the E.R.? ORGAN DONORS!" Cripes. And who the hell wears a 3/4 helmet on a sportbike anyway?

Back to me. I felt better watching people motorcycle...there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Drinking Beamish on St. Patrick's Day doesn't hurt, either. Ugh...3 to 6 inches tonight (and I don't mean the fun kind). Yea, twisty roads. Ugh, Ray Liotta. Ugh, Ray Liotta some more. Yea, smooth, Irishy meat in a glass. I will make it through another day. I can't wait to drive the sportbike club ape-shit yelling out "Wild Hogs!" at the top of my lungs. ...I'm my own evil twin.


  1. SO FUNNY! I sort of want you to run out into the flurry and scream at the ominous clouds. I mean, I'm kind of curious as to what might happen. Would people stop and stare? Would anyone say anything? It's sort of like that tablecloth trick. I want to do that, too. I want to walk into a fancy restaurant, grab the tablecloth, and yank it off-- see if the plates, silverware, and stemware still stand. I kind of wonder what people's reaction would be. I say we try it out. Let's go to a restaurant and I'll snag the table linens as you run out screaming at the sky! People will talk about that for WEEKS! We'll be LEGENDS.

  2. OR...they'll admit you to the funny farm. But hey, that could be a nice vacation, too.

  3. Trish,

    If only we had witnesses to some of our teenage adventures. We'd already be legends...or as Cheryl says...visiting with the people in their nice white coats. BTW, I call blogging dibs on our road trip. You blog the present, I'll blog the past. I think I might have a surprise for you too... evil-> me.