Thursday, July 3, 2008

There are no taste buds down there

Hah. You thought that was dirty didn't you? 'Snot.

I just wanted to publicly announce that I am eating a mashed potato bowl from KFC for lunch. It's mashed potatoes, corn, gravy, breaded chicken bits and cheese. And, so far, I've managed to keep it down.

While this isn't newsworthy in most cases, I am an exception in that my entire life (so far) has consisted of consuming food as if it were perpetually served on a sectioned Chinet plate. I do not mix my food. There is never corn mixed with the mashed potatoes and gravy. There are NEVER cranberries touching the green bean casserole. Barf noise.

I am constantly forced to respond to the statement, "It all ends up in the same place," with a scathing, "I don't have to taste it once it's down there."

Here I am, eating a mishmosh in a bowl...frankly it's not bad. But if there were cranberries in it too, I'd have to draw the line. Barf noise. Guess I'll check this off my list too; right up there with skydiving and track day.

Everyone out there in the food-mixin' USA, have a great 4th of July. Mind the fingers and toes.

6 comments:

  1. I guess you haven't read this:
    Former Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson has written to KFC urging the company to improve the lives and deaths of its chickens, appeared in billboards and TV ads asking people to boycott KFC, narrated a video exposé of KFC’s cruelty to chickens, and even asked Kentucky’s governor to remove a bust of Col. Sanders from the State Capitol Building.

    I promise you won't eat chicken again for a VERY long time if you watch the video.

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  2. I'm all for improving death!

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  3. Urp. I loves me some meat!

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  4. That's why you don't watch things like that. It ruins it for everyone! I love the mashed potato bowls at KFC! Yummy! But then I don't mind my food touching. Have you ever been to a fancy restaurant where they stack the fool and drizzle the sauce around the plate? Just wondering what your response to that might be?

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  5. I guess there is NO doubt we are genetically connected because I have always HATED my food touching and I HAVE always been picked on for same. Buttholes.
    Love, Heb xo
    What's with the stupid post about Pamela Anderson, btw? Who gives a fat rat's ass what she says about anything other than caulk?

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