Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Hock-tooey

I've been ordered by a Pipeline reader via finger and dictionary to post about...phlegm. Good thing that other current fascination isn't spelled "phart", right?

Phlegm. Why can't it be spelled "flem?" What's the point of the letter "g" I wonder? Beats hearing the word "mucus." Uck.

In medieval times, phlegm was known as one of the four humors of ancient and medieval physiology, thought to cause sluggishness, apathy, and evenness of temper. Evenness of temper? I don't think so. Try going on a week and a half of coughing up that crap in the shower. Or hang out at our house when my brother and I just finished eating ice cream. Good thing we humans have moved on from leeches and bloodletting.

I know its purpose is to lubricate and protect organs and linings in the body, but ew. Heck, a lot of stuff about the body is ew. I'd just prefer it stay inside.

Hey, this topic sucks. Sorry, Cheryl. I find it difficult to come up with thought-provoking and hilarious conversation on this subject. Probably because it doesn't relate at all to pharts and I can't recall a funny first-hand story. Like the time my brother managed a "fireman" phart. Anyway...
/end topic

6 comments:

  1. I'm game for the story on the "phire man phart." Care to relate the tale?

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  2. BTW my cousin, we are far from past leeches, the stars are using them for aniti-aging. All things past.....

    And, a HUGE phat thank you to Trish for getting you off your ass, I was so bored over here I almost bought myself a pretty pink DS or an iPhone but couldn't get my lard off the couch......

    Give your bro some Birthday love from me!

    Love, Heb xo

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  3. Well, thank you Heb! However, I can't really take the credit for Kuj's ass movement. When Kuj's ass moves, it moves of Kuj's accord...or something like that.... Eh, it made sense when I started typing.

    Okay, I need to know what the stars do with leeches that helps them with anti-aging. Could someone explain?

    P.S. I SWEAR these word verification letters are jumbles for naughty things....

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  4. P.P.S. And don't think you are off the hook for the white horse in the running info. I'm just being nice by allowing you to tell me in your own sweet time.

    --Okay, this thime the word verification unjumbled to "hot male." Coincidence??

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  5. Google on Demi Moore and leeches and you'll see just how far human civilization has NOT come. Or celebrity civilation, anyway.

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  6. Well, I laughed anyway. Phlegm. Yeah, that's an f@cked up spelling!

    I felt so deprived today. My office was without power and I had no access to a computer. But my blogs!!! It was stifling hot in there and they made us stay until 3:30! Slave drivers! When I left, I saw the electric guy in the lift trying to fix the pole in question. I gunned it and got the hell out of there!

    What was that, kuj? There's a white horse in the running? Whatever does Trish mean? Come on! Throw us a bone! Trish- to hell with her own time- inquiring minds want to know. Well, me- I want to know.

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